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Adolescence is a stage full of both physical and psychological changes.
In adolescence, the son or daughter begins the difficult transition towards what will be their independence and autonomy. This path is learning that is characterized by attempts, errors, achievements, dreams, frustrations, which can lead to both internal and external conflict. In addition to this, if the environment, and the family where this adolescent is growing, is not the most harmonious, the most functional or healthy, then imagine how challenging it will be for this young person to make decisions and develop their new personality.
Formation of the personality of the adolescent:
Three factors will influence this path towards independence and autonomy:
The exaltation of oneself, believing oneself superior to adults (you don't know, I know, especially in matters that dominate such as new technologies)
The desire for self-realization (being good at something that matters to oneself and friends, being a good soccer player, having a lot of likes on one of your posts)
The tendency to not want to be with parents versus an almost vital need to be with friends.
At this point, the adolescent discovers himself and creates a false narcissism. On the one hand, he believes that he is the best, but on the other he hides insecurities, so he will try to deceive others and himself with his appearances. Therefore, it is common to meet dreamy teenagers who want to be youtubers, Tiktokers, great soccer players or singers. In addition, many television programs and Social Networks sell them the false illusion of quickly and successfully acquiring fame and popularity (influencers and their successful lives, etc.). In this context, the effort to achieve goals, such as studying to pass or self-improve, takes a back seat which in turn will fuel demotivation about what is tedious, expensive and long-term, such as studies and training. self professional.
Stage prior to adult life.
Their desire to be treated as adults leads them to distance themselves from parents, teachers and anyone who plays the role of authority. Thus, it is very common for them to rebel and be reluctant to obey, and to respond with suspicion to any question that involves an intrusion into their private life. In this situation, it is very common for there to be disputes at home when it comes to obeying parents, showing arrogant attitudes, knowing everything to hide their insecurities and fears. In addition, their desire to become independent from their parents and to be adults leads them to create the false belief that they are capable of being independent from adults, but at the moment of truth they are still dependent, creating frustration and anger.
The adolescent lives in the present and rarely has medium-long term plans, the important thing is to find a place among equals and hide their fears through self-centeredness, selfishness and in some cases through tyranny.
The importance of character in personality.
In an adolescent who is more autonomous, independent, critical and of an introverted nature, conflicts with parents and in some cases with teachers tend to be more frequent.
On the contrary, in individuals who have a more docile, easygoing and extroverted character, the process to adult life is usually more harmonious, less conflictive. They are more accepting of what parents and teachers say, and tend to be more obedient.
Be that as it may, the character and trajectory of each adolescent is a stage full of changes, challenges and experiences that will mark her future. The key to the process will reside in the understanding and the gaze of the adult that will mark the coexistence and will facilitate or hinder the path towards adult life of her son or daughter.
In the Healthy Minds group of specialists, we have professionals located in Puerto Rico, Mexico and Florida, willing to provide you with the best service that your teenager requires, do not hesitate to write to us or book your appointment online or in person.
A hug!
Dr. Naylú Martinez Nuñez MD Msw
www.Mentessaludables.org